Dave Stalker

Bournemouth-based self-confessed charlatan Dave Stalker returns to us this year for a eighth consecutive festival, neatly exploding the myth that useful practical and social skills are necessary to get by in the Worthy FM team. He doesn’t do much other than complain about the state of people’s laptops and how the mud is playing havoc with his cuticles, but on the upside he does present our dance shows (alongside compadre Paul Moore, with whom he’s been coming to this place since what seems the dawn of time). He also brings tequila, which is a massive plus. You bring the salt and lemons and we’re sorted.

We do love to watch the veins in his temple throb when he’s called upon to fix the network when it decides to stop working, which it tends to with alarming regularity. Sometimes we even unplug it on purpose and call him while he’s getting down in some filthy techno party in Block 9.